Give my creation LIFE!

Conservatism never fails. That's why many Republicans are now scurrying to put distance between themselves and George W. Bush. They have discovered their creation is an abomination, certainly not a conservative, as they first believed, nor the logical culmination of thirty-plus years of hard work and organizing to produce a conservative Übermensch.

The GOP stitched him together from parts of past administrations, wrapped him from head to toe in donor checks, connected electrodes to the bolts in his neck, threw the switch on the Republican Noise Machine and said, "Life. Life do you hear me? Give my creation LIFE! " Only afterwards did they begin questioning what they had done.

GOP: Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Karl: And you won't be angry?
GOP: I will *not* be angry!
Karl: Abby Someone.
GOP: Abby Someone. Abby Who?
Karl: Abby Normal.
GOP: Abby Normal.
Karl: I'm almost sure that was the name.

With apologies to Mel Brooks.