Sunday, May 28, 2006

Amnesty, you mock me

(updated below)

Rep. James Sensenbrenner (R-WI) was just on Meet the Press discussing the illegal immigration issue, the latest "crisis" requiring precipitous government action, an election-year crisis conveniently timed to distract America from failures in Iraq, the last "crisis" that demanded America act before thinking.

I'm waiting for the MTP transcript to see how many times he used "amnesty." However you consider resolving the immigration issue -- punishment, enforcement, a pathway to citizenship -- those in the House insisting on making felons of illegal Mexican immigrants want to drive "amnesty" into our brains with a ball peen hammer until we submit. Amnesty is a bad word. It's bad. Amnesty is the new "liberal," a scarlet "A" to hang around the necks of opponents.

Amnesty, you mock me.

It's like the Saturday Night Live bit with John Malkovich as a melancholy 18th century royal:
Lord Edmund: You mock me! [ chases her out ] And I will NOT be mocked!! [ pauses in anger ] The insolence and bold affrontary! [ walks forward, never suspecting that his Servants are imitating his walk in a fit of mockery behind his back ] She was mocking me, was she not?

Servant #1: Oh, yes, your Lord. [ Servant #2 mocks Lord Edmund behind his back as Servant #1 speaks ] I was crimson with rage and egregious impertinence of her bold ignorance! [ to Servant #2 ] Would you promise?

Servant #2: Oh, yes.. [ Servant #1 mocks Lord Edmund behind his back as Servant #2 speaks ] ..the brazen audacity of her tongue was surpassed only by her derisive hauture!

...

Lord Edmund: [ chases him out ] I will not be mocked!! [ walks around, as the Servants continue to mock him ] I grow weary.. [ looks out the window ] The moon is out. I say, the moon is out, and yet it is day. The moon mocks me.. and I will not be mocked!

Servant #1: Yes, yes! The crescent moon lets its lunar contempt be seen for what it is - a brazen canopy of affrontary! Thomas?

Servant #2: Oh, yes, yes, of course! The impudence of the moon's bold audacity!

Lord Edmund: [ walks away, as the Servants mock him behind his back ] I will retire now to my chamber, where there are only my bed and my dreams to mock me. [ exits room ]

[ the Servants starts mimicing Lord Edmund's every expression ]

Servant #2: "I will not be mocked!"

Servant #1: "You mock me!"

Servant #2: "I will not be mocked!"

Servant #1: "You mock me!"

Servant #2: "I will not be mocked!"

Servant #1: "You mock me!"
If only we could have Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey follow these guys around and mimic "amnesty, amnesty" behind their backs, and on camera.

UPDATE:

Sensenbrenner's Senate foil in this MTP illegal immigration debate was Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE). Let's see how many times the amnesty talking point came up.

The scores are now in:

Sensenbrenner 16
Hagel 9

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